Asking for and accepting help

Often men find it difficult to ask for help. You might think others are too busy, or that you are somehow failing if you ask for help. However, most people want to help.

It is important to remember:

  • People only offer to help when they want to
  • You do not have to do everything yourself
  • Asking for and accepting help is actually a sign of strength.

Some men say that they are just not sure how to ask. It helps to:

  • Write down everything that you do each day
  • Work out how long it takes you to do each job
  • Decide who could help you.

Having a clear idea about what needs to be done and how long it will take may help you say ‘yes’ more often when people offer to do something for you. For example, after a radical prostatectomy you may be limited in your movements and need assistance walking or driving until you heal.


Some ways of coping and living with prostate cancer

You have probably dealt with difficulties in your life before. Remember how you coped – what did you do? Who helped you? What worked? Try to apply successful strategies you have used before to your current situation.

  • Make sure you are informed and up-to-date with all the information about prostate cancer. This will help you feel in control. Make sure your information comes from a reliable source (e.g. medical professionals, those who have had the experience and prostate cancer support groups).
  • Take your mind off prostate cancer. Living with prostate cancer is intense because of what is required of you – attending medical appointments, having treatments and dealing with side effects. Commit to doing pleasant activities regularly to maintain a positive sense of wellbeing.
  • Talk with people you trust such as your partner, family or friends. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Consider joining a support group or telephone support (see section ‘Where can I go for help?’).
  • Learn to relax. Specific exercises such as breathing exercises and muscle relaxation can take your mind off prostate cancer and give you a sense of calmness. Talk with your healthcare team for help finding a relaxation class that is right for you.